💙 The Final Dispatch

Noticing the end.

Greetings, fellow traveler.

When I started this Substack, there weren’t many people Substacking.

Now many people Substack.

Feels good to set one damn trend in my life.

Sorta.

At the time, I needed a way to process some major life changes, articulate a lot of ideas that were banging around in my head, and most importantly:

be WITNESSED in the act of doing those things.

I needed to be seen in the pain,

the truth,

the insight,

the joy,

the adventure,

and everything in between.

These days, everyone has a Substack.

These days, I find more life in… people.

The flesh and blood kind, right in front of your face.

Less joy in writing on a screen,

less interest in trying anymore.

Which to me is the signal to stop.

Every project that starts has to end.

Creatively, professionally, relationally.

I think that’s been the theme of this little newsletter of mine.

It all ends.

But.

It all begins too.

Every death begets life.

Platforms die and new ones take their place.

Trends go out of fashion,

then re-emerge decades later like cool sunglasses in a Berlin thrift store.

All of creation is life spiraling into death spiraling into more life.

And the good news?

Creation is a very benevolent force.

The arc of the universe, I’m convinced, is very much bent towards justice.

Doesn’t mean it’s comfortable.

Doesn’t mean it’s easy.

Doesn’t mean there isn’t pain, loss, grief, sacrifice, and loneliness.

Just means that we seem to forget so we can remember again.

We know, and then get confused.

Then confusion brings more clarity.

The pulsation of life runs vibrantly through our bodies,

then putters out.

We live, to die.

We die, to live.

We forget this is true.

We remember again.

Nonduality, duality, astrology, Human Design, unfolding, psychology, neuroscience, our parts, jazz hands, the puke on the sidewalk, breathwork, meditation, religion, politics, my opinion, your opinion, my knowing, your knowing, this party, the other party, every single construct in the history of human abstraction, that one guy on Instagram’s opinion about your Scorpio rising, that one TikTok where someone danced and fell and everyone laughed at them while life was cruising by and the silicon brick in their hand rang up dollar signs into infinity while they stared at it next to other staring strangers on the subway.

It’s all bullshit, and all necessary, and all fake, and all real.

That’s the dance.

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I used to be afraid to die.

Then I died and realized there was nothing to fear.

I used to be afraid to live.

Then I lived and realized there was nothing to fear.

So we spiral.

In, out.

Out, in.

Side to side. Back again.

Warm to cold to warm.

Dark to light, back to darkness again.

Life begets death begets life.

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Amen

(so be it).

Thanks for reading.

See you somewhere else on this cosmic rollercoaster.

May we ever remember the perennial wisdom of Bill Hicks:

It’s just a ride.

Dedicated to Vanessa.

Keep resting in dance. 🦋